Aren't you beyond excited? Well, it would seem life really has a way of getting in the way of things like this! Since we last spoke, I have started a new job, which is going well enough. Although, I will elaborate enough to say I think I attract bipolar people.
You know what else I started? My own Mary Kay business! Say what now? I know, totally not me AT ALL. But I decided to have a party with friend of mine. My hostess gift was a Satin Hands Pampering Set. Have you guys tried that stuff? Wow. You use the softener first, then you use this awesome exfoliating scrub. You rinse with warm water and your hands feel 10 years younger. They look better, too! It also comes with a lovely, lightweight moisturizer to apply after the exfoliation. As much as I love it, I use it so rarely because I am afraid I am going to run out. I shouldn't be so foolish. The size of these bottles will have me going for a while. Just yesterday, I made the decision I am going to do this weekly, at least. It's a small bit of spoiling in a hectic life, where I can't just take off for a massage.
I also bought the Time Wise Miracle Set, which is a face wash, moisturizer, day serum and night serum. I also added the Firming Eye Cream. I'm getting old, ya know. Now I am not the kind of person that can use a cleanser on my face every time. This system requires that I wash in the morning, apply the day serum and moisturizer, and finally, the firming eye cream. Same thing at night, only switching out the day serum for the night serum. Go figure. This was a HARD transition for someone like me. But all in all, it takes less than 5 minutes, morning and night. Even I can manage that.
My skin looks and feels a million times better and I have to say, that Firming Eye Cream is something else. I have some fine lines around my eyes. I will not go so far as to call them crow's feet, but I think we can all see where they are headed. That stuff is AMAZING. The best way I can describe it is that it sort of "plumps" the skin, so it really smooths out the lines! I didn't realize how bad they were until I started using that stuff. Literally, a huge difference in about a week. I was pleased to say the least. And the effects last, so if you forget it for a day, you don't go straight to hagsville.
When another friend booked a party off mine, naturally I attended. So, now that my skin looks and feels so wonderful, no need for make-up, right? HA! I normally use a liquid foundation, but have always been a bit mesmerized by mineral powder. Problem is, it just never sat right on my skin. This time, we were doing color instead of skin care. Hm. Okaaaaaaaaaaaay. I tried the mineral powder and holy cow! Must have been that skin care regiment smoothing things out that helped. It sat so beautifully on my skin. And it was so simple!! WAY easier than liquid, what with all that blending and smearing. I never wore foundation daily because it was just too much of a hassle. Now I am using the mineral powder every day. And you know what? That takes like, a minute to apply. No joke.
So, I walked away from THAT party with the mineral powder and a full set of make-up brushes. Those brushes are awesome. They make the application a breeze and they are so soft. None of that generic CVS crap. No wonder I didn't care for make-up before...
After this, I was sucking into being a Consultant. I signed on and then sat on it for a long time. I have a job, so I wasn't looking to make a ton of money off this. It was a little something extra to supplement the house. The fact that I get a discount doesn't hurt either!
I FINALLY got around to my debut party a couple weeks ago and I have to say, it didn't hurt. It was a good time with a small group and my wonderful Director, Jaime, really made it an easy night. I got a couple orders and it felt good to be doing something for myself and not for someone else.
I could say here that I know I have brought into the office twice my own annual income in less than 5 months. That would go to say I am going to bill out approximately 4 times my own income. So I get a quarter of what I make? That seems fair. But this is the way of the world. When you work for someone else, you are making money for them. I am happy enough in my job and am making decent money, but how nice would it be if I got the money I made? Imagine the possibilities...
I got a taste of it a couple weeks ago when Jaime informed me that her daughter was sick and asked if I would take a party she was supposed to be doing. Lucky for me, it was the friend who booked off my first party, so it was a good practice run, but I REALLY wasn't prepared for this. I had all my stuff, I just didn't have my mind wrapped around what I was saying or doing. I made it through and placed a couple orders, so it clearly wasn't a total bust. But next time, I'll be more prepared, because I am going to make money for me and my family, not someone else's.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
I love my daughter, but.......
I know, I know. You aren't supposed to have exceptions to that statement. But damn, this girl is driving me crazy!!! And before you say it, I know, "It's a short trip".
Overall, my daughter is a delightful toddler. She is usually happy (when she is getting her way), she goes to bed at a decent time (but doesn't go to sleep), her sweet little voice beckons "Mommy" (constantly) AND she is a good eater (if it's mac & cheese, grilled cheese, or anything of cheese origin).
Normally, she goes to bed around 7:30 or 8:00, but lately, she goes in, calls for us for a while and one of us inevitably goes in to see what she wants. Usually, it is another "snuggle", which is her term for me STANDING, holding her dead weight body and rocking to one of her songs. This child is 2 years and 8 months old. She is just getting too big for me to do this with. I would happily sit and rock back and forth for hours, but nooooooooo, not in this lifetime!
She then proceeds to babble and talk to her "babies" until maybe 9? Ok, fine. Except I have to wake her up to use the toilet before I go to bed and the longer she is up, the less sense that makes. The night before last, I was going to bed at around 9:30 because I was WIPED. (I'll get into that in a minute) It makes no sense in the world to me to wait until she is just asleep, tear her out of her crib and put her little tush on the ice cold toilet. But if I don't, sure enough, we have a leaking Pull-Up.
Now, three nights ago, when I went to bed at 9:00 because the lack of sleep was catching up to me, I forgot to get her up. I was lying in bed in that state of sleep where your brain works, but you can't move your body. During this ever useful state of sleep, I realized I forgot to get her up, but could do absolutely nothing to get my body moving. Next thing I know, she is crying in her room and it's 4:15 a.m. She was DRENCHED. Nothing says wake up like a wet bed and the following clean up!!!
After all that, I get her into new pj's and bring her into our bed, knowing she will headbutt me at least 6 times and probably push me off the bed, but eventually fall asleep. (She gets this from her father) No such luck. She absolutely tortured me and my husband until it was time to get up. None of us got any more sleep. It was hell on earth, quite literally. In fact, I had sprained my wrist and it was a pain in the butt healing, but finally felt like it was ok. As I am lying on my stomach, my little friend grabs my hand and wrenches it backward. TWICE. Awesome took on whole new meaning.
Not one of the three of us are pleasant when we are sleep deprived, least of all me. I'm sure you can imagine my irritation level with the constant "Mommy? What? Um........" "Mommy? What? Um........" DON'T CALL ME UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!!!! I don't actually say that to her, but it most definitely goes through my head.
She also likes to wait until my husband and I are starting a conversation to tell us everything in the world ie: "The light is green, go. The light is red, stop. Mommy, I see the digger! Daddy, what you doin'?" We can NOT have a three sentence conversation in under 10 minutes. It's getting ridiculous. I have been teaching her to say "Excuse me" if Mommy and Daddy are talking. Seemed like a good idea. However, if she interrupts and I say "You're being rude, what do you say?" We then get peppered with "Excuse me" for every darn thing she wants to say.
How can a 2 year old have THAT much going on?! I think her social life might be better than mine..... probably because I have to go to bed at 9:00 now. I don't even think Grammy goes to bed that early, and she is 98!! What happened to me? I used to be so cool. Right? Didn't I? I was....wasn't I? Oh man...
Overall, my daughter is a delightful toddler. She is usually happy (when she is getting her way), she goes to bed at a decent time (but doesn't go to sleep), her sweet little voice beckons "Mommy" (constantly) AND she is a good eater (if it's mac & cheese, grilled cheese, or anything of cheese origin).
Normally, she goes to bed around 7:30 or 8:00, but lately, she goes in, calls for us for a while and one of us inevitably goes in to see what she wants. Usually, it is another "snuggle", which is her term for me STANDING, holding her dead weight body and rocking to one of her songs. This child is 2 years and 8 months old. She is just getting too big for me to do this with. I would happily sit and rock back and forth for hours, but nooooooooo, not in this lifetime!
She then proceeds to babble and talk to her "babies" until maybe 9? Ok, fine. Except I have to wake her up to use the toilet before I go to bed and the longer she is up, the less sense that makes. The night before last, I was going to bed at around 9:30 because I was WIPED. (I'll get into that in a minute) It makes no sense in the world to me to wait until she is just asleep, tear her out of her crib and put her little tush on the ice cold toilet. But if I don't, sure enough, we have a leaking Pull-Up.
Now, three nights ago, when I went to bed at 9:00 because the lack of sleep was catching up to me, I forgot to get her up. I was lying in bed in that state of sleep where your brain works, but you can't move your body. During this ever useful state of sleep, I realized I forgot to get her up, but could do absolutely nothing to get my body moving. Next thing I know, she is crying in her room and it's 4:15 a.m. She was DRENCHED. Nothing says wake up like a wet bed and the following clean up!!!
After all that, I get her into new pj's and bring her into our bed, knowing she will headbutt me at least 6 times and probably push me off the bed, but eventually fall asleep. (She gets this from her father) No such luck. She absolutely tortured me and my husband until it was time to get up. None of us got any more sleep. It was hell on earth, quite literally. In fact, I had sprained my wrist and it was a pain in the butt healing, but finally felt like it was ok. As I am lying on my stomach, my little friend grabs my hand and wrenches it backward. TWICE. Awesome took on whole new meaning.
Not one of the three of us are pleasant when we are sleep deprived, least of all me. I'm sure you can imagine my irritation level with the constant "Mommy? What? Um........" "Mommy? What? Um........" DON'T CALL ME UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!!!! I don't actually say that to her, but it most definitely goes through my head.
She also likes to wait until my husband and I are starting a conversation to tell us everything in the world ie: "The light is green, go. The light is red, stop. Mommy, I see the digger! Daddy, what you doin'?" We can NOT have a three sentence conversation in under 10 minutes. It's getting ridiculous. I have been teaching her to say "Excuse me" if Mommy and Daddy are talking. Seemed like a good idea. However, if she interrupts and I say "You're being rude, what do you say?" We then get peppered with "Excuse me" for every darn thing she wants to say.
How can a 2 year old have THAT much going on?! I think her social life might be better than mine..... probably because I have to go to bed at 9:00 now. I don't even think Grammy goes to bed that early, and she is 98!! What happened to me? I used to be so cool. Right? Didn't I? I was....wasn't I? Oh man...
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
I took notes on my barf bag
I wish I were kidding, but I wanted to be sure I got the majority of the good stuff on here. Put on your reading belt, it's going to be a long, bumpy ride.
So, I am fresh off a 10 day "vacation" to Ireland. God, am I tired. Is everyone this tired after a vacation? I think not. We were visiting with family, attended a wedding and spent the better part of the remaining time with a pint tipped up. But before all of that, we had to travel......
I got a great reduced airfare by booking with www.orbitz.com which had us connecting in Paris. Romantic, right? Eh, no. Upon arrival at Logan International, we were advised our flight was delayed an hour, which caused us to miss our connection. No big deal, I can handle that. In fact, once in Paris, we were being bumped to Aer Lingus, and who doesn't love those sweet little lassies offering tea and bikkies. And we got a three and a half hour layover! Plenty of time for browsing duty free and grabbing lunch. However, no one told us the complete and total shit show we would be arriving into.
The Air France flight was on an older plane, but was comfy and the drinks were free! EAT THAT, AER LINGUS!! Too bad one of the dinner options was Salmon Shepherds Pie. Say what now?! Of course, by the time they got to us, that was all that was left. They were nice enough to rustle up a salad for me. Drinks, salad, eye mask, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... for about 2 hours.
We were told that once we arrived at Charles de Gaulle in Paris, we should go to the Aer Lingus counter to get our boarding passes. Do you think ONE of those stinkin' donkeys could tell us where the Aer Lingus counter was?! We tried following signs, which seemed to be fairly straight forward, except they didn't get you anywhere. We tried asking for assistance from airport workers. They would point you up a hundred yard moving walkway. You get to the end and.......nothing. Absolutely absurd, especially since they all spoke English!
We were directed at one point up a walkway and ended up at the boarding gates. The nice man said we could board with what we had, but alas, he didn't seem to realize we didn't have our bags. I asked AGAIN where the Aer Lingus counter was and he pointed to a nearby "kissing booth" and told me if we came back in "eh wwwwwon oowww-errrr" she would be open. Too bad our flight was in one hour. I asked "Is that the Aer Lingus counter?" "Eh, nooooooo" "Is there an Aer Lingus counter?" "Eh, yyyyyyyyyyyes." "Where is THAT?" - He hadn't the slightest idea.
By this point we decided to go out through customs and go to the departures desk. Yippee!!!!! Four more people with our same problem!!!! And once we were ALL together, they told us we had to go to the Air France counter. Are you freaking kidding me!? POWER IN NUMBERS!! OFF WE GO!!!
Air France issued the document they needed to in record time and we all ran back to Aer Lingus. Literally. We were starting to run low on time. We get back, I hand over our Passports and baggage tags to get the transfer done and Mrs. Croissant tears the damn tag. Now she can't read the number, so she assumes it is the next number chronologically. I look at the tags and notice it is superimposed on the back of the first tag. I read the number to her and she says she is all set. Stupid Emily didn't think to check the first tag. It was not chronological. In fact, it wasn't even close. But I didn't know that until later....
Now it has taken SO long that we need an escort through the airport and past all the lines for security. We JUST made the flight. 3.5 hour layover? *POOF* Gonzo.
But we made it nonetheless. Off to Ireland!!
We drag our sorry asses off the plane and go looking for our luggage. I should mention here some bits about our luggage. We had 2 fifty pound bags. Not easy things to lose, right? One had a brand new power drill for my brother-in-law, along with all of our clothing. Except the few things I was smart enough to pack in our carry on. :) Ok, the second case is chock full of all the shopping and leftover shoes, shirts etc. that were left behind in January by my mother-in-law and auntie-in-law. We did receive the offer "If it's too much, just leave it." Uh uh. No way lady. This crap isn't staying here another day!
Guess which case made it to Ireland? And guess what else. CBP also saw that little devil in the scanner and said"Stop the conveyor! We have to look into this one. Why would anyone lug all this shit 3,000 miles?" Why indeed...
The case full of what we ACTUALLY needed is not there. I go to the baggage claim counter and file a claim with Aer Lingus. At this point I will spare you some details. Let's just say when there was no news 3 days later, we went back to Dublin and I wasn't leaving without some answers. Turns out a SECOND Aer Lingus moron screwed up the tag number. Really Ireland. Make your people stay in school longer if they can't read. Thankfully, my mother-in-law was on the other side of the doors to greet us. If we had to take a taxi, I might have burst into tears.
Finally the bag arrives on day 4, but we are not there when it does. I was off at a lovely hotel having a spa day. Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! Boston accent mixed with relaxation. We went to the Seafield Hotel in Gorey for one night with my husband's cousin and his wife. Day one was golfing for the guys and massages for us.
It was orgasmic. This was my first professional massage. (WHAT?!) I know. Dorothy took care of me that day and gave me a lovely back treatment as well as massage. I also had an Indian head massage and a facial. I swear, I haven't been this mobile in years. Normally, I cannot tilt my head very far to the left toward my shoulder. By the end of my 2 HOUR treatment, I could have pulled an exorcist move. AMAZING and I will definitely request her IF I go back. "IF?" you say? Yes, IF.
Hm, wonder why Emily might not go back? I mean, after all, Sinead and I were saying next trip will be a minimum of 2 nights!! To everyone! The spa girls, the bartenders, the front desk staff, in short, anyone who would listen! After our massages, we went in the hot tub, which was partially enclosed, partially exposed to the outdoors. It was a windy, rainy day and it was actually perfect for hot tubbing. Not so perfect for golf. :) When we finally had enough, we headed back to our rooms to shower and head to the bar for a drink or two.
Now the floor of the shower was about 8 inches higher than the floor of the bathroom and you had to step over the side of a tub to get in. No biggie, until you are one foot halfway out and the fire alarms start going off. I nearly killed myself. And amazingly, I'm not being dramatic. Once I got my head together, my first thought? "I ain't goin' ANYWHERE like this. I'll get dressed, throw our shit in the bags and go. If it's too hectic, I'll throw the bags off the balcony and get them later." Clearly, my life is of the utmost importance. Thankfully, I didn't have to go through all that. They stopped. Phew.
So, we got dressed and went to the bar for a few drinks. By then, the guys were back so we had a nice time throwing some back. We decided we would get dinner and asked to look at the menu. Too bad it was less than stellar and what was 20 euro in the bar was 32 euro in the restaurant. Um, no. Call us a cab, we're going in town!! Has a great dinner at Eco and went for drinks at a nearby pub. All in all a great night.
We got back to the hotel and decided to put in orders for breakfast. Mmmm.....can't wait! Breakfast is my favorite meal!! Too bad they didn't send half the stuff we asked for and what they did send was mediocre at best. It was delivered around 9:30 and we were back in bed watching t.v. by 10. Juuuuuuust about to doze off and FIRE ALARM!!! Are you joking?? It stops. Ok. Back to bed. Juuuuuuuuust about to doze off, FIRE ALARM!!! SERIOUSLY! WTF?!?! Apparently, there is something wrong with the dryer and when housekeeping does the laundry, it sets off the fire alarms. My thoughts? FIX THE EFFEN DRYER!!
After complaining (and telling them we were coming back a bazillion times) they did NOTHING. They didn't take one cent off the room charges, nothing at all. Barely an apology. Here in the U.S., they would have comped something to ensure return business. Not at the Seafield!! They even charged full price for the wrong breakfast! Bastards.
Nevertheless, I went for a spray tan before we left. I got a full body exfoliation and spray tan from Emily. (No, not me, asshole) Again, a first for me. I was SO scared to get a spray tan. I have heard enough horror stories and seen even worse. But it came out REALLY nice and my skin was so, so soft from the exfoliation. Again, IF I ever go back, Emily is going to have to see me mostly naked again. Hey, I just remembered something funny. My husband was talking to a friend outside his mother's and it turns out Emily is his girlfriend. Now EVERYONE will know what only she and my husband should. Hahaha!!!
Aside from that, we had some home cooked meals, many, many pints and a whole lot of fun.
We also attended a wedding for another of my husband's cousins. What a beautiful wedding. And such a blast. The speeches were hysterical and amazing. One was a 10 minute poem all about the newlywed's courtship. There was no way in HELL the best man was beating that. I believe the name of that hotel was the Ashdown Park Hotel. Although we only saw the function room, pub and our room, it was really nice and we had a terrific time there as well.
I also tried my hand at a local lotto and won a wee bit. Nothing says perfect vacation like making money!! Oh, the jealousy of the locals. I'm a LEGEND!!
The food on the flight back was MUCH better and we had personal t.v.'s, so we were able to watch a movie. I chose Black Swan, as I have wanted to see it for ages. It was disturbing to me. Apparently, it was also disturbing to my mother, but for different reasons. My mother was freaked out my the scratching and skin tearing. I was alarmed by the fact that the entire movie involved everyone trying to get Natalie Portman off. Soft core porn, anyone??
I have left out so, so many things about our trip, but this is just too long. We spent the entire time with family and friends and we couldn't ask for better hosts. It really makes a trip worthwhile when you get to spend it with loved ones. And thank God we had a good time, because guess what happened on the way back??
BOTH OF OUR BAGS GOT LEFT IN PARIS!!!!!!! No joke......
So, I am fresh off a 10 day "vacation" to Ireland. God, am I tired. Is everyone this tired after a vacation? I think not. We were visiting with family, attended a wedding and spent the better part of the remaining time with a pint tipped up. But before all of that, we had to travel......
I got a great reduced airfare by booking with www.orbitz.com which had us connecting in Paris. Romantic, right? Eh, no. Upon arrival at Logan International, we were advised our flight was delayed an hour, which caused us to miss our connection. No big deal, I can handle that. In fact, once in Paris, we were being bumped to Aer Lingus, and who doesn't love those sweet little lassies offering tea and bikkies. And we got a three and a half hour layover! Plenty of time for browsing duty free and grabbing lunch. However, no one told us the complete and total shit show we would be arriving into.
The Air France flight was on an older plane, but was comfy and the drinks were free! EAT THAT, AER LINGUS!! Too bad one of the dinner options was Salmon Shepherds Pie. Say what now?! Of course, by the time they got to us, that was all that was left. They were nice enough to rustle up a salad for me. Drinks, salad, eye mask, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... for about 2 hours.
We were told that once we arrived at Charles de Gaulle in Paris, we should go to the Aer Lingus counter to get our boarding passes. Do you think ONE of those stinkin' donkeys could tell us where the Aer Lingus counter was?! We tried following signs, which seemed to be fairly straight forward, except they didn't get you anywhere. We tried asking for assistance from airport workers. They would point you up a hundred yard moving walkway. You get to the end and.......nothing. Absolutely absurd, especially since they all spoke English!
We were directed at one point up a walkway and ended up at the boarding gates. The nice man said we could board with what we had, but alas, he didn't seem to realize we didn't have our bags. I asked AGAIN where the Aer Lingus counter was and he pointed to a nearby "kissing booth" and told me if we came back in "eh wwwwwon oowww-errrr" she would be open. Too bad our flight was in one hour. I asked "Is that the Aer Lingus counter?" "Eh, nooooooo" "Is there an Aer Lingus counter?" "Eh, yyyyyyyyyyyes." "Where is THAT?" - He hadn't the slightest idea.
By this point we decided to go out through customs and go to the departures desk. Yippee!!!!! Four more people with our same problem!!!! And once we were ALL together, they told us we had to go to the Air France counter. Are you freaking kidding me!? POWER IN NUMBERS!! OFF WE GO!!!
Air France issued the document they needed to in record time and we all ran back to Aer Lingus. Literally. We were starting to run low on time. We get back, I hand over our Passports and baggage tags to get the transfer done and Mrs. Croissant tears the damn tag. Now she can't read the number, so she assumes it is the next number chronologically. I look at the tags and notice it is superimposed on the back of the first tag. I read the number to her and she says she is all set. Stupid Emily didn't think to check the first tag. It was not chronological. In fact, it wasn't even close. But I didn't know that until later....
Now it has taken SO long that we need an escort through the airport and past all the lines for security. We JUST made the flight. 3.5 hour layover? *POOF* Gonzo.
But we made it nonetheless. Off to Ireland!!
We drag our sorry asses off the plane and go looking for our luggage. I should mention here some bits about our luggage. We had 2 fifty pound bags. Not easy things to lose, right? One had a brand new power drill for my brother-in-law, along with all of our clothing. Except the few things I was smart enough to pack in our carry on. :) Ok, the second case is chock full of all the shopping and leftover shoes, shirts etc. that were left behind in January by my mother-in-law and auntie-in-law. We did receive the offer "If it's too much, just leave it." Uh uh. No way lady. This crap isn't staying here another day!
Guess which case made it to Ireland? And guess what else. CBP also saw that little devil in the scanner and said"Stop the conveyor! We have to look into this one. Why would anyone lug all this shit 3,000 miles?" Why indeed...
The case full of what we ACTUALLY needed is not there. I go to the baggage claim counter and file a claim with Aer Lingus. At this point I will spare you some details. Let's just say when there was no news 3 days later, we went back to Dublin and I wasn't leaving without some answers. Turns out a SECOND Aer Lingus moron screwed up the tag number. Really Ireland. Make your people stay in school longer if they can't read. Thankfully, my mother-in-law was on the other side of the doors to greet us. If we had to take a taxi, I might have burst into tears.
Finally the bag arrives on day 4, but we are not there when it does. I was off at a lovely hotel having a spa day. Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! Boston accent mixed with relaxation. We went to the Seafield Hotel in Gorey for one night with my husband's cousin and his wife. Day one was golfing for the guys and massages for us.
It was orgasmic. This was my first professional massage. (WHAT?!) I know. Dorothy took care of me that day and gave me a lovely back treatment as well as massage. I also had an Indian head massage and a facial. I swear, I haven't been this mobile in years. Normally, I cannot tilt my head very far to the left toward my shoulder. By the end of my 2 HOUR treatment, I could have pulled an exorcist move. AMAZING and I will definitely request her IF I go back. "IF?" you say? Yes, IF.
Hm, wonder why Emily might not go back? I mean, after all, Sinead and I were saying next trip will be a minimum of 2 nights!! To everyone! The spa girls, the bartenders, the front desk staff, in short, anyone who would listen! After our massages, we went in the hot tub, which was partially enclosed, partially exposed to the outdoors. It was a windy, rainy day and it was actually perfect for hot tubbing. Not so perfect for golf. :) When we finally had enough, we headed back to our rooms to shower and head to the bar for a drink or two.
Now the floor of the shower was about 8 inches higher than the floor of the bathroom and you had to step over the side of a tub to get in. No biggie, until you are one foot halfway out and the fire alarms start going off. I nearly killed myself. And amazingly, I'm not being dramatic. Once I got my head together, my first thought? "I ain't goin' ANYWHERE like this. I'll get dressed, throw our shit in the bags and go. If it's too hectic, I'll throw the bags off the balcony and get them later." Clearly, my life is of the utmost importance. Thankfully, I didn't have to go through all that. They stopped. Phew.
So, we got dressed and went to the bar for a few drinks. By then, the guys were back so we had a nice time throwing some back. We decided we would get dinner and asked to look at the menu. Too bad it was less than stellar and what was 20 euro in the bar was 32 euro in the restaurant. Um, no. Call us a cab, we're going in town!! Has a great dinner at Eco and went for drinks at a nearby pub. All in all a great night.
We got back to the hotel and decided to put in orders for breakfast. Mmmm.....can't wait! Breakfast is my favorite meal!! Too bad they didn't send half the stuff we asked for and what they did send was mediocre at best. It was delivered around 9:30 and we were back in bed watching t.v. by 10. Juuuuuuust about to doze off and FIRE ALARM!!! Are you joking?? It stops. Ok. Back to bed. Juuuuuuuuust about to doze off, FIRE ALARM!!! SERIOUSLY! WTF?!?! Apparently, there is something wrong with the dryer and when housekeeping does the laundry, it sets off the fire alarms. My thoughts? FIX THE EFFEN DRYER!!
After complaining (and telling them we were coming back a bazillion times) they did NOTHING. They didn't take one cent off the room charges, nothing at all. Barely an apology. Here in the U.S., they would have comped something to ensure return business. Not at the Seafield!! They even charged full price for the wrong breakfast! Bastards.
Nevertheless, I went for a spray tan before we left. I got a full body exfoliation and spray tan from Emily. (No, not me, asshole) Again, a first for me. I was SO scared to get a spray tan. I have heard enough horror stories and seen even worse. But it came out REALLY nice and my skin was so, so soft from the exfoliation. Again, IF I ever go back, Emily is going to have to see me mostly naked again. Hey, I just remembered something funny. My husband was talking to a friend outside his mother's and it turns out Emily is his girlfriend. Now EVERYONE will know what only she and my husband should. Hahaha!!!
Aside from that, we had some home cooked meals, many, many pints and a whole lot of fun.
We also attended a wedding for another of my husband's cousins. What a beautiful wedding. And such a blast. The speeches were hysterical and amazing. One was a 10 minute poem all about the newlywed's courtship. There was no way in HELL the best man was beating that. I believe the name of that hotel was the Ashdown Park Hotel. Although we only saw the function room, pub and our room, it was really nice and we had a terrific time there as well.
I also tried my hand at a local lotto and won a wee bit. Nothing says perfect vacation like making money!! Oh, the jealousy of the locals. I'm a LEGEND!!
The food on the flight back was MUCH better and we had personal t.v.'s, so we were able to watch a movie. I chose Black Swan, as I have wanted to see it for ages. It was disturbing to me. Apparently, it was also disturbing to my mother, but for different reasons. My mother was freaked out my the scratching and skin tearing. I was alarmed by the fact that the entire movie involved everyone trying to get Natalie Portman off. Soft core porn, anyone??
I have left out so, so many things about our trip, but this is just too long. We spent the entire time with family and friends and we couldn't ask for better hosts. It really makes a trip worthwhile when you get to spend it with loved ones. And thank God we had a good time, because guess what happened on the way back??
BOTH OF OUR BAGS GOT LEFT IN PARIS!!!!!!! No joke......
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Take some pity...
...on your child care providers. Seriously, people. If you put your child in someone's care, you obviously need to trust them. But how many people pity them? After all, they made a decision to go into child care and accept certain jobs, right? Wrong.
I was at the supermarket Thursday night and decided to get my daughter some popsicles. A nice treat to have once in a while, no? I discovered popsicles a while back that are not only half the size of a regular one (you can get full size, too), but are slow melting due to gelatin being added to them. I want to hug the genius that came up with that idea.
It was Thursday that I came across the poor girl (?) I am about to discuss. She was holding 4 boxed of different popsicles and had 2 little girls with her, ages maybe 3 and 5. They really could have cared less what was purchased by the time I rolled around.
She seemed REALLY confused and overwhelmed, so I said, "You know, I found these a while back and they are awesome. Very little mess." She looked at me with the most desperate crazy eyes I have ever seen. She then unloaded on me.
I don't know whose children they were, but apparently there is a 7 year old brother out there somewhere, too. She started going on about a woman I presume is the mother. The mother who sent this poor girl to the store to buy only natural organic products.
I COMPLETELY understand parents who choose to feed their children organic. Every parent has the right to decide what to feed their children. But riddle me this: If you make that decision, shouldn't YOU be the one doing the grocery shopping instead of sending someone who has NO idea what the hell you are talking about?!
This girl was precisely what you would envision if someone said "frazzled". Her hair was a mess, she was dropping things all over the place, she was completely and totally scattered. Thankfully, the children with her were well behaved.
If you are going to assume your child care provider is also your servant, the least you can do is give them some direction. Would it have killed the mother to suggest a supermarket with a wider variety of organic? Or to write a list?! With details?? It would seem the only instruction she gave was all natural organic.
Now, I am not an organic shopper. I buy what I like and I buy what my daughter and husband like. We eat fruit and vegetables, just like everyone else. But I do not go all out and buy organic. Occasionally, something I buy is organic by chance, but I do not seek it out. It also helps that I heard a while back about a study that was looking into the benefits of organic diet. Apparently, there is no significant difference in the long run. Yippee!! We're not going to die!!
Are there child care providers out there with similar experiences? I have done my fair share of child care and have willingly helped out with laundry, cooking, dishes and groceries. However, I feel there is a fine line between the sporadic help and the full on taking advantage. We ALL know that mother who has kids etc. because that is what you are "supposed" to do. I think this is the same kind of mother who puts her career above all else. There is NOTHING wrong with being a woman with a career, but when you have children, your priorities have to change somewhat. I really feel like this mother, whoever she is, just dumps her entire load of personal responsibility on this girl. I doubt she was at home with a handkerchief around her head scrubbing the floors while this girl did the grocery shopping for the week.
It was a brief but eye opening encounter. If I am ever fortunate enough to have in home child care, I will not make my responsibility the responsibility of my child care provider. I'll buy my own frozen chicken nuggets, thanks very much.
I was at the supermarket Thursday night and decided to get my daughter some popsicles. A nice treat to have once in a while, no? I discovered popsicles a while back that are not only half the size of a regular one (you can get full size, too), but are slow melting due to gelatin being added to them. I want to hug the genius that came up with that idea.
It was Thursday that I came across the poor girl (?) I am about to discuss. She was holding 4 boxed of different popsicles and had 2 little girls with her, ages maybe 3 and 5. They really could have cared less what was purchased by the time I rolled around.
She seemed REALLY confused and overwhelmed, so I said, "You know, I found these a while back and they are awesome. Very little mess." She looked at me with the most desperate crazy eyes I have ever seen. She then unloaded on me.
I don't know whose children they were, but apparently there is a 7 year old brother out there somewhere, too. She started going on about a woman I presume is the mother. The mother who sent this poor girl to the store to buy only natural organic products.
I COMPLETELY understand parents who choose to feed their children organic. Every parent has the right to decide what to feed their children. But riddle me this: If you make that decision, shouldn't YOU be the one doing the grocery shopping instead of sending someone who has NO idea what the hell you are talking about?!
This girl was precisely what you would envision if someone said "frazzled". Her hair was a mess, she was dropping things all over the place, she was completely and totally scattered. Thankfully, the children with her were well behaved.
If you are going to assume your child care provider is also your servant, the least you can do is give them some direction. Would it have killed the mother to suggest a supermarket with a wider variety of organic? Or to write a list?! With details?? It would seem the only instruction she gave was all natural organic.
Now, I am not an organic shopper. I buy what I like and I buy what my daughter and husband like. We eat fruit and vegetables, just like everyone else. But I do not go all out and buy organic. Occasionally, something I buy is organic by chance, but I do not seek it out. It also helps that I heard a while back about a study that was looking into the benefits of organic diet. Apparently, there is no significant difference in the long run. Yippee!! We're not going to die!!
Are there child care providers out there with similar experiences? I have done my fair share of child care and have willingly helped out with laundry, cooking, dishes and groceries. However, I feel there is a fine line between the sporadic help and the full on taking advantage. We ALL know that mother who has kids etc. because that is what you are "supposed" to do. I think this is the same kind of mother who puts her career above all else. There is NOTHING wrong with being a woman with a career, but when you have children, your priorities have to change somewhat. I really feel like this mother, whoever she is, just dumps her entire load of personal responsibility on this girl. I doubt she was at home with a handkerchief around her head scrubbing the floors while this girl did the grocery shopping for the week.
It was a brief but eye opening encounter. If I am ever fortunate enough to have in home child care, I will not make my responsibility the responsibility of my child care provider. I'll buy my own frozen chicken nuggets, thanks very much.
Monday, May 9, 2011
I'm really sucking at this, who wants some coffee?
Honestly, I did really well for a few weeks, and then I started waiting an extra day here and there. Now I have gone from Friday posts to Monday posts?! C'mon now. I think the reason more than anything is my clever nature exposes itself at the most inopportune times, aka when I am not near my computer.
I usually find my inspiration in my every day surroundings. Today, that's my house. God help me. What the heck kind of inspiration can I find here? Laundry? Dusting? Mopping? Dishes? They all need to be done, but they aren't very inspiring. But you know what IS inspiring. My re-usable K-cup. Holy cow. I don't know why I waited so long to get this. Now I have waited so long, it is almost time to pull out the regular coffee maker for iced coffee season.
I am a person who has always loved Dunkin Donuts coffee, from one Dunkin Donuts. Or home brewed Dunkin Donuts coffee. For all who think I'm a little bit nuts, not all Dunkin Donuts is created equal. However, I gave the Keurig a try and found I was pleasantly surprised. I also discovered New England Coffee, which made me question coffee up until this point.
I am not sure I will EVER buy Dunkin Donuts coffee grinds again. I mean, I go to Dunkies a LOT and will continue to do so, but this New England Coffee is pretty bomb, I'm not gonna lie! First of all, they have more flavors. This is good news for me, as I love flavored coffee. It's also good for all employers, as they can now rest assured I am not showing up tanked off Bailey's coffee.
Also, it is so inexpensive! I'm talking like $4.99 a bag. As opposed to Dunkies, which is like $7.99 a bag. Even at my overpriced but really nice grocery store, it goes on sale and I stock up big time. Last time, they were 2 for $5!! But I had the Keurig out, so even though I bought some for upcoming iced coffee season, it has been sitting in my cabinet for longer than any coffee has ever lasted in my house.
Now, I have the K-cup that I can use ANY coffee in!! (Can you tell yet I am on my 3rd cup today??) So, I have been enjoying my New England Coffee more than anyone should enjoy a beverage. But alas, my relationship with the K-cup is rapidly approaching a break. Time for Mr. Coffee to drag his dusty ol' ass out of the cabinet and get to work. If he wants our relationship to last longer than mine and Mr. Keurig's, he better be ready to show me what he's got.
I'm going to go ahead and share my perfect iced coffee measurements with you. Normally, when I make a full pot of coffee, I use about 4.5 scoops of coffee grinds. Are those tablespoons? Well, for iced coffee, I up it just a bit to 5 and a little. That's right. That is my exact measurement. I don't like strong, bitter coffee. I also don't like it watered down once the ice starts melting. This makes it juuuuuuust right. With New England Coffee. I'm not sure about Dunkies, as I haven't had it in my house in a year, easily.
For those of you who like mocha iced coffee, try New England Coffee's Chocolate Cappuccino. Obviously, Mr. Coffee doesn't make it all frothy and sexy, but it's a nice touch without the thick syrup from Dunkies. Unless you're into that sort of thing, you sick freak.
I have tried other flavors, but that is my favorite. They have a ton of options far beyond your typical hazelnut and french vanilla from Dunkies, or your breakfast blend or extra bold from other retailers. I highly recommend trying this brand. I have tried many and enjoyed none. This was a delightful surprise. Unless, maybe.... is it possible I am getting so old, my taste buds are dying?! Jeez, I better get another cup of coffee and do some research on that.
I usually find my inspiration in my every day surroundings. Today, that's my house. God help me. What the heck kind of inspiration can I find here? Laundry? Dusting? Mopping? Dishes? They all need to be done, but they aren't very inspiring. But you know what IS inspiring. My re-usable K-cup. Holy cow. I don't know why I waited so long to get this. Now I have waited so long, it is almost time to pull out the regular coffee maker for iced coffee season.
I am a person who has always loved Dunkin Donuts coffee, from one Dunkin Donuts. Or home brewed Dunkin Donuts coffee. For all who think I'm a little bit nuts, not all Dunkin Donuts is created equal. However, I gave the Keurig a try and found I was pleasantly surprised. I also discovered New England Coffee, which made me question coffee up until this point.
I am not sure I will EVER buy Dunkin Donuts coffee grinds again. I mean, I go to Dunkies a LOT and will continue to do so, but this New England Coffee is pretty bomb, I'm not gonna lie! First of all, they have more flavors. This is good news for me, as I love flavored coffee. It's also good for all employers, as they can now rest assured I am not showing up tanked off Bailey's coffee.
Also, it is so inexpensive! I'm talking like $4.99 a bag. As opposed to Dunkies, which is like $7.99 a bag. Even at my overpriced but really nice grocery store, it goes on sale and I stock up big time. Last time, they were 2 for $5!! But I had the Keurig out, so even though I bought some for upcoming iced coffee season, it has been sitting in my cabinet for longer than any coffee has ever lasted in my house.
Now, I have the K-cup that I can use ANY coffee in!! (Can you tell yet I am on my 3rd cup today??) So, I have been enjoying my New England Coffee more than anyone should enjoy a beverage. But alas, my relationship with the K-cup is rapidly approaching a break. Time for Mr. Coffee to drag his dusty ol' ass out of the cabinet and get to work. If he wants our relationship to last longer than mine and Mr. Keurig's, he better be ready to show me what he's got.
I'm going to go ahead and share my perfect iced coffee measurements with you. Normally, when I make a full pot of coffee, I use about 4.5 scoops of coffee grinds. Are those tablespoons? Well, for iced coffee, I up it just a bit to 5 and a little. That's right. That is my exact measurement. I don't like strong, bitter coffee. I also don't like it watered down once the ice starts melting. This makes it juuuuuuust right. With New England Coffee. I'm not sure about Dunkies, as I haven't had it in my house in a year, easily.
For those of you who like mocha iced coffee, try New England Coffee's Chocolate Cappuccino. Obviously, Mr. Coffee doesn't make it all frothy and sexy, but it's a nice touch without the thick syrup from Dunkies. Unless you're into that sort of thing, you sick freak.
I have tried other flavors, but that is my favorite. They have a ton of options far beyond your typical hazelnut and french vanilla from Dunkies, or your breakfast blend or extra bold from other retailers. I highly recommend trying this brand. I have tried many and enjoyed none. This was a delightful surprise. Unless, maybe.... is it possible I am getting so old, my taste buds are dying?! Jeez, I better get another cup of coffee and do some research on that.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The Things I'll Miss
I am quite sure I will expand upon this list once in a while, but to start off, these are the things I will miss most about not working in the city anymore:
1. First and foremost, my WONDERFUL bosses. I have a close friendship with both of them that will not end merely because I am starting a new job.
2.Taking the Orange Line. I mean, really. Where else can I find those kind of people to photograph?
3. The smell of the ocean as I walk to my office.
4. The sound of the seagulls flying overhead. Although, their population has increased to such an astronomical number, I am sure I can find some fatties in the McDonald's parking lot.
5. My clients. No lie, a lot of them suck, but there are a select few who have made my job very rewarding.
6. Mexicorn. Don't ask.
7. The wall of shame.
8. Coogans, even though it has seemingly turned into an underage drinking hub. Oh wait, I'm just getting older.
9. My office mate. He knows more than he should. May have to take him out before I go.....
10. The copier, that jams EVERY damn time I try to use it. I mean, it doesn't seem like something I should miss, but I can't very well go into a new office and start punching, kicking and screaming at their copier now, can I?
11. Being able to punch, kick and scream at the copier without people looking at me like I am crazy. They understand.
12. OOH! I almost forgot Stuart Little and his family!! Working above bar has its benefits, but it also has its drawbacks. Who doesn't love the smell of decomp in the morning?!
13. Wearing sneakers/Uggs. My boss used to be someone who didn't even want us wearing open toe shoes, never mind those items. Flip flops are still a no no. I think the slapping noise reminds him of his childhood. He twitches.
14. Going in at 9:30 and having Fridays off. It's that little bit of extra time I get to spend with my daughter. I have been assured that I can work 4 days if I want, but I doubt they'll pay me the same, so 5 days it is!! At least for the time being.
15. WB Mason orders. Every month, my boss tells me I am not longer in charge of ordering. Then he tells me to order stuff. But last week I ordered binder clips, which almost pushed him over the edge indefinitely. Turns out we had tons. Which he showed me. In a very flamboyant manner. Hahaha!!!!
That is all for now, as I must get my hustle on and get out the door. I'll be back. There are FAR more than 15 things I'll miss. :)
1. First and foremost, my WONDERFUL bosses. I have a close friendship with both of them that will not end merely because I am starting a new job.
2.Taking the Orange Line. I mean, really. Where else can I find those kind of people to photograph?
3. The smell of the ocean as I walk to my office.
4. The sound of the seagulls flying overhead. Although, their population has increased to such an astronomical number, I am sure I can find some fatties in the McDonald's parking lot.
5. My clients. No lie, a lot of them suck, but there are a select few who have made my job very rewarding.
6. Mexicorn. Don't ask.
7. The wall of shame.
8. Coogans, even though it has seemingly turned into an underage drinking hub. Oh wait, I'm just getting older.
9. My office mate. He knows more than he should. May have to take him out before I go.....
10. The copier, that jams EVERY damn time I try to use it. I mean, it doesn't seem like something I should miss, but I can't very well go into a new office and start punching, kicking and screaming at their copier now, can I?
11. Being able to punch, kick and scream at the copier without people looking at me like I am crazy. They understand.
12. OOH! I almost forgot Stuart Little and his family!! Working above bar has its benefits, but it also has its drawbacks. Who doesn't love the smell of decomp in the morning?!
13. Wearing sneakers/Uggs. My boss used to be someone who didn't even want us wearing open toe shoes, never mind those items. Flip flops are still a no no. I think the slapping noise reminds him of his childhood. He twitches.
14. Going in at 9:30 and having Fridays off. It's that little bit of extra time I get to spend with my daughter. I have been assured that I can work 4 days if I want, but I doubt they'll pay me the same, so 5 days it is!! At least for the time being.
15. WB Mason orders. Every month, my boss tells me I am not longer in charge of ordering. Then he tells me to order stuff. But last week I ordered binder clips, which almost pushed him over the edge indefinitely. Turns out we had tons. Which he showed me. In a very flamboyant manner. Hahaha!!!!
That is all for now, as I must get my hustle on and get out the door. I'll be back. There are FAR more than 15 things I'll miss. :)
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The Joys of the Holidays
So, I will be short and sweet this week.... I think. Hard to say, since I just shoot from the cuff.
I am currently getting ready to cook for...hold on. Lemme count. At least 16 adults, but I am sure someone is missing. Anyhoo, what a busy weekend! My poor brother was good enough to peel TWENTY pounds of potatoes. He got the easy job, I fear. My mom has a bitchin' recipe for cheese potatoes that everyone seems readily available to kill for. However, it entails hand dicing those twenty pounds of potatoes...with a sprain wrist. You can imagine my joy! And after that, veggies for the skewers had to be cut and 80 plastic eggs needed to be filled! Oh, the pain...
You know what else is joyous? I actually got out of doing an elaborate Easter basket. :) My wonderful friend Jessica Rabbit (you'll never guess who she is. She is neither a Jessica nor a rabbit. But hey, rabbit, Easter...get it?!) constructed a delicious, goody filled basket for my daughter! It is absolutely STUFFED with candy. Good for daughter, bad for mommy. First things first, 3 lollipops and a chocolate bunny. Thankfully, that bunny was hollow. It was at that point I grabbed the basket and hid it. 6:15 a.m. is no time to be having chocolate, especially if you aren't prone to sharing.
It was around that time I decided I was using Bailey's in my coffee instead of milk. Hey man, she can have her vice, but I can't have mine?
Anyway, what's a little buzz before cooking a ton of food? At least this way I have a chance of not feeling the burns until tomorrow. :) I seem to think I am immune to heat when I am cooking. It's kinda dumb. I'll admit it.
So, on today's menu we will have those damn cheese potatoes, rice, ham, lamb skewers, bourbon turkey skewers, corn on the cob (just because it is coming into season and who doesn't love fresh corn?), broccoli, homemade coleslaw and some other bits and bobs. Kind of looks like a mix between a sit down dinner and a barbecue, huh? I don't care. I am stuffing myself stupid.
I love the holidays for that exact reason. I will celebrate any holiday if it involves awesome food. Too bad I seem to be in the position of being the one to provide said food. And while I slave over the oven all day, where is my beloved husband? GOLFING! The bastard!! Actually, I happily sent him. He will have a great morning and come home starving. Now, there is a man that appreciates his wife's cooking. Lucky for him, I love cooking!
Well, I must run, loves. The kitchen calls. It is such a gorgeous day out, I'll happily open the windows to hear the birds more clearly and dive in head first. Now, let's just hope any rain hold off until AFTER the egg hunt!
I hope you all have a wonderful day wherever you are and whomever you're with. Please be safe and careful when traveling. <3
I am currently getting ready to cook for...hold on. Lemme count. At least 16 adults, but I am sure someone is missing. Anyhoo, what a busy weekend! My poor brother was good enough to peel TWENTY pounds of potatoes. He got the easy job, I fear. My mom has a bitchin' recipe for cheese potatoes that everyone seems readily available to kill for. However, it entails hand dicing those twenty pounds of potatoes...with a sprain wrist. You can imagine my joy! And after that, veggies for the skewers had to be cut and 80 plastic eggs needed to be filled! Oh, the pain...
You know what else is joyous? I actually got out of doing an elaborate Easter basket. :) My wonderful friend Jessica Rabbit (you'll never guess who she is. She is neither a Jessica nor a rabbit. But hey, rabbit, Easter...get it?!) constructed a delicious, goody filled basket for my daughter! It is absolutely STUFFED with candy. Good for daughter, bad for mommy. First things first, 3 lollipops and a chocolate bunny. Thankfully, that bunny was hollow. It was at that point I grabbed the basket and hid it. 6:15 a.m. is no time to be having chocolate, especially if you aren't prone to sharing.
It was around that time I decided I was using Bailey's in my coffee instead of milk. Hey man, she can have her vice, but I can't have mine?
Anyway, what's a little buzz before cooking a ton of food? At least this way I have a chance of not feeling the burns until tomorrow. :) I seem to think I am immune to heat when I am cooking. It's kinda dumb. I'll admit it.
So, on today's menu we will have those damn cheese potatoes, rice, ham, lamb skewers, bourbon turkey skewers, corn on the cob (just because it is coming into season and who doesn't love fresh corn?), broccoli, homemade coleslaw and some other bits and bobs. Kind of looks like a mix between a sit down dinner and a barbecue, huh? I don't care. I am stuffing myself stupid.
I love the holidays for that exact reason. I will celebrate any holiday if it involves awesome food. Too bad I seem to be in the position of being the one to provide said food. And while I slave over the oven all day, where is my beloved husband? GOLFING! The bastard!! Actually, I happily sent him. He will have a great morning and come home starving. Now, there is a man that appreciates his wife's cooking. Lucky for him, I love cooking!
Well, I must run, loves. The kitchen calls. It is such a gorgeous day out, I'll happily open the windows to hear the birds more clearly and dive in head first. Now, let's just hope any rain hold off until AFTER the egg hunt!
I hope you all have a wonderful day wherever you are and whomever you're with. Please be safe and careful when traveling. <3
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Is it really this easy.....
...to drive someone crazy? I would actually like to know the answer to this.
I made the statement the other day that if the world is ending in 2012, I know how it is going to end. It isn't going to be flood, fires, gaping cracks in the Earth swallowing people up. It's going to be human kind going bat shit crazy and killing each other until there is no one left.
I have known crazy people my whole life. (You know who you are. If it isn't the guy to the right, and it isn't the guy to the left, IT'S YOU!) But things are just getting out of hand.
Now, let me be clear. I am NOT eliminating myself from the equation here. I am quite content knowing my crazy and what comes with it. I'm happy crazy and I keep with my kind. I am not malicious crazy. There are a LOT of "them" out there. I have discovered so many, in fact, I think we happy crazies are officially out numbered.
When did it become ok to completely unload on an innocent bystander? Or blame your screw ups on someone who had nothing to do with the situation? Or blame your entire cache of screw ups on your "bad childhood" or a "bad break up"?
I think we can all agree we are adults. Your life is what you make it, not what someone else makes it. So you had a really awful childhood, huh? Were you permanently maimed by your parents? Did they extinguish cigarettes on your body or break your bones? Did you grow up eating out of dumpsters with no parents to blame? Ok, you might be entitled to blame your bad fortune on your upbringing.
All those out there with parents who did the best they could and it just wasn't damn good enough for your self entitled ass? Suck it up and get over it. Move on. The best revenge out there, folks? Being better and more successful that those who have "wronged" you. Let's say you didn't have a "Leave it to Beaver" upbringing. *GASP*! So freaking what?! You think that little turd had any idea how to survive in the real world?! Doubt it!!
And those of you wallowing in self pity over the one that got away? GET OVER IT! Either you suck or they did. Either way, one of you deserves better. If they sucked, than you deserve better. Get off the couch and go find it. If you're the one that sucks, I suggest you quit sucking so much and act like a freaking adult. Go get a job, stop boozing every day of the week. Whatever it is about you that sucks, change it!
How about those who like to blame EVERYTHING they do wrong on some unsuspecting person, say a co-worker. I screw up at work. I'll be the first to admit it. I'm also the one who runs to my boss and rats myself out. Either that, or I sign my name to it just so there is no confusion. I'm self-destructive like that. But we all have or have had that one co-worker who NEVER does anything wrong. Interestingly enough, they also seem to be the one who knows who DID do it. Psychic? Me thinks not. Accountability, people. 'Tis what makes the world go round.
I think my favorite is when someone just goes cuckoo on someone who has nothing at all to do with the problem. And I mean padded wall, white coat cuckoo. You can dislike someone, that is fine. But when you are just lying in wait for something to happen so you can go *kaboom*? You got issues. And as I say, issues are like tissues. You take one out and they just keep coming!
This is a situation I think could begin the end, if you will. Ok, let's say you don't like someone. (I don't like a lot of someones. Again, if it isn't the guy to the right, and it isn't the guy to the left.....) Now, I'm not reeeeeaaaaaally known for being the bigger person. If someone wants to get in my face, I will knock them on their ass, no questions asked. However, I do not START things with people, just because they are standing nearby or because I don't like them. When did it become ok to get within inches of someone's face to make your point. A point which not only doesn't involve you, but that you aren't actually making?
If someone gets inches from my face, I will react. There is no think time. It just happens. And I mean really, I am supposed to be the mature one, the calm, cool, collected one, the bigger person (literally and figuratively) for what? Let them have their satisfaction and go on their way? Um, hi. How do I know this person doesn't have some wacky disease. I mean jeez, bird flu anyone?? Swine flu?!?! SARS?!?! I don't want anyone that close to my orifices!! I pride myself on being healthy. (HA!) Ok, that might be a stretch, but I don't often get sick. Maybe that will be my course of action next time. I'll just go into a hysterical coughing fit. Hm. I am an evil genius, I swear.
Oh, it should also be noted, I will defend my loves to the death. You mess with someone close to me, you may as well spit in my face. It isn't going to end well for you. It never does. I can give you references if you like.
Wait, did I say I was happy crazy? Well, it seems like the tides are turning as we speak!
Anyways, you know what I did this weekend? I went to see Sesame Street Live "Elmo's Green Thumb". No not by myself. That'd be creepy. With my daughter!! I was warned it was a suicide mission. You know who warned me of that? A cuckoo crazy. I didn't think it was all that bad! My daughter had a great time, as did my niece and my friend's son. But apparently, the most entertaining part of the day was me hoisting my daughter onto my hip and taking the stairs from the floor to the concourse 2 at a time to get her to the bathroom. It would seem her little legs were just flapping behind me.
There was also a creepy guy with a video camera filming everyone and their kids walking up the stairs. It was odd. And of course, there were no workers nearby to report him to. Hmph. Anyhoo, we've got LOADS of overpriced Sesame gear now!
And people wonder why I am crazy.....
I made the statement the other day that if the world is ending in 2012, I know how it is going to end. It isn't going to be flood, fires, gaping cracks in the Earth swallowing people up. It's going to be human kind going bat shit crazy and killing each other until there is no one left.
I have known crazy people my whole life. (You know who you are. If it isn't the guy to the right, and it isn't the guy to the left, IT'S YOU!) But things are just getting out of hand.
Now, let me be clear. I am NOT eliminating myself from the equation here. I am quite content knowing my crazy and what comes with it. I'm happy crazy and I keep with my kind. I am not malicious crazy. There are a LOT of "them" out there. I have discovered so many, in fact, I think we happy crazies are officially out numbered.
When did it become ok to completely unload on an innocent bystander? Or blame your screw ups on someone who had nothing to do with the situation? Or blame your entire cache of screw ups on your "bad childhood" or a "bad break up"?
I think we can all agree we are adults. Your life is what you make it, not what someone else makes it. So you had a really awful childhood, huh? Were you permanently maimed by your parents? Did they extinguish cigarettes on your body or break your bones? Did you grow up eating out of dumpsters with no parents to blame? Ok, you might be entitled to blame your bad fortune on your upbringing.
All those out there with parents who did the best they could and it just wasn't damn good enough for your self entitled ass? Suck it up and get over it. Move on. The best revenge out there, folks? Being better and more successful that those who have "wronged" you. Let's say you didn't have a "Leave it to Beaver" upbringing. *GASP*! So freaking what?! You think that little turd had any idea how to survive in the real world?! Doubt it!!
And those of you wallowing in self pity over the one that got away? GET OVER IT! Either you suck or they did. Either way, one of you deserves better. If they sucked, than you deserve better. Get off the couch and go find it. If you're the one that sucks, I suggest you quit sucking so much and act like a freaking adult. Go get a job, stop boozing every day of the week. Whatever it is about you that sucks, change it!
How about those who like to blame EVERYTHING they do wrong on some unsuspecting person, say a co-worker. I screw up at work. I'll be the first to admit it. I'm also the one who runs to my boss and rats myself out. Either that, or I sign my name to it just so there is no confusion. I'm self-destructive like that. But we all have or have had that one co-worker who NEVER does anything wrong. Interestingly enough, they also seem to be the one who knows who DID do it. Psychic? Me thinks not. Accountability, people. 'Tis what makes the world go round.
I think my favorite is when someone just goes cuckoo on someone who has nothing at all to do with the problem. And I mean padded wall, white coat cuckoo. You can dislike someone, that is fine. But when you are just lying in wait for something to happen so you can go *kaboom*? You got issues. And as I say, issues are like tissues. You take one out and they just keep coming!
This is a situation I think could begin the end, if you will. Ok, let's say you don't like someone. (I don't like a lot of someones. Again, if it isn't the guy to the right, and it isn't the guy to the left.....) Now, I'm not reeeeeaaaaaally known for being the bigger person. If someone wants to get in my face, I will knock them on their ass, no questions asked. However, I do not START things with people, just because they are standing nearby or because I don't like them. When did it become ok to get within inches of someone's face to make your point. A point which not only doesn't involve you, but that you aren't actually making?
If someone gets inches from my face, I will react. There is no think time. It just happens. And I mean really, I am supposed to be the mature one, the calm, cool, collected one, the bigger person (literally and figuratively) for what? Let them have their satisfaction and go on their way? Um, hi. How do I know this person doesn't have some wacky disease. I mean jeez, bird flu anyone?? Swine flu?!?! SARS?!?! I don't want anyone that close to my orifices!! I pride myself on being healthy. (HA!) Ok, that might be a stretch, but I don't often get sick. Maybe that will be my course of action next time. I'll just go into a hysterical coughing fit. Hm. I am an evil genius, I swear.
Oh, it should also be noted, I will defend my loves to the death. You mess with someone close to me, you may as well spit in my face. It isn't going to end well for you. It never does. I can give you references if you like.
Wait, did I say I was happy crazy? Well, it seems like the tides are turning as we speak!
Anyways, you know what I did this weekend? I went to see Sesame Street Live "Elmo's Green Thumb". No not by myself. That'd be creepy. With my daughter!! I was warned it was a suicide mission. You know who warned me of that? A cuckoo crazy. I didn't think it was all that bad! My daughter had a great time, as did my niece and my friend's son. But apparently, the most entertaining part of the day was me hoisting my daughter onto my hip and taking the stairs from the floor to the concourse 2 at a time to get her to the bathroom. It would seem her little legs were just flapping behind me.
There was also a creepy guy with a video camera filming everyone and their kids walking up the stairs. It was odd. And of course, there were no workers nearby to report him to. Hmph. Anyhoo, we've got LOADS of overpriced Sesame gear now!
And people wonder why I am crazy.....
Saturday, April 9, 2011
A Day at the Aqua-rape-rium
Although I have Fridays off from work, it isn't really a day off. I am usually running errands, going to doctor's appointments or cleaning (ha!) as most mothers do. My daughter has been asking for about 2 weeks to take the train, so I decided yesterday was the day!
Now, she was on the subway about a year ago, but every day she and my husband drive to the subway station and pick me up from the train. Additionally, she sees the commuter rail train every day. So, needless to say, she is quite intrigued with trains at this stage.
I checked the schedule and decided we would get the 10:00. That was at 8:30. We almost missed the train. We got dressed, got our bag packed with some snacks and a change of clothes and headed off to the bank to get some money. I only use the drive-up ATM when I have her because it's just a pain to get her in and out of her car seat. There were about 10 cars in line, so I decided "Screw it, I don't have time for this." I then had to RACE to CVS to get her ANOTHER pair of sunglasses because we couldn't seem to find one of the four pairs she currently owns. And of course, she chose pair she already had. Maybe this way, Daddy won't notice?!
Of course, because I was in a rush, I ran into an old client who wanted to chat me up for a while and tell me all about the fish that was on sale at Shaw's. Terrific. It's Lent, and not only did I forget to give something up, I am pretty damn sure we have been total carnivores since Ash Wednesday. Ugh. "Ok, thanks! BYE!!!"
Yay! We made the train, and as soon as we started moving, I realized no binky. I know, I know. She's too old for it. I don't really care. If it stops her from the inevitable meltdown, I'm giving it to her. Oh well, no binky. Time for this toddler to man up.
Now to look for a seat on the moderately busy train. Do you think my little freak show wanted to sit near ANYONE? Nope. After showing her the only available seats, she gives in and shares a seat with a man whose ears she proceeded to beat off the side of his head until he ran for his own sanity. Enter first financial rape of the day.
Our little conductor lady comes to collect tickets and I ask for a round-trip fare. $8.50!!?? Um, sure, that sounds fair. The subway is less than half of that per day. Who are these people taking the commuter rail every day?! I am 5 stops from the end. FIVE. I don't understand how the T is in debt when they are charging people $1.70 per station stop.
When we finally get to the main concourse, the monster in the stroller sees all the different kiosks offering cookies. At 10:30 in the morning. Second rape? A cookie costing nearly $3.00. Get me outta here!!!
We go outside, where is is absolutely gorgeous out. First stop, iced coffee. Ain't no WAY this is going one step further without reinforcements. Now, I know the area, so I know where Dunkin Donuts is hiding. Obviously, the kiddo was concerned. After whipping her head from side to side, she asks in a meek voice, "Mommy? Where we goin'?" I looked around and realized the street we were on resembled a dark alley on CSI. My bad. On to the aquarium!!!!
We walk maybe a mile and arrive at the New England Aquarium. I notice my ticket is going to cost $22.95, and because my little angel is under 3, she's free! Yay! But, um, I don't even WANT to go in, so why the hell do I have to pay so much? Really, they should let adults in free and charge for the kids!! Can I send her in on her own? Guess not. Rape three! Man, I get around!
I get to the window and inquire about their membership passes. Lowest level is $85. "Is that a family pass or how does that work?" It's the member and one guest. Not only am I not sure I will make it back there the 4 times it'll take to pay for itself, if my husband decides to join us, do we still have to pay an adult fare? Or is he my guest and under 3 doesn't count. I don't care, I'm not getting it. I've already spent enough for a nice day with my daughter. Oh, silly me. No, I haven't!!!!!
The New England Aquarium is a lovely educational facility, but man, it is dark in there. It's like a cave full of fish. Regardless, we had a nice time walking up the ramp surrounding the giant tank and looking at all the different fish. I know they have a touch tank outside with manatees in it and I thought "She'll love that!!" Not this time, she won't. It's only open to members this week. Boo. Does this one count as a rape?!
Once we have made our rounds, we started to work our way back down to the bottom level. I spot the counter where they will nicely show me the awful picture they took on our way in. Instead of just showing me on the computer screen, they waste the money and ink to print it out, put it in the holder and HAND IT TO THE 2 YEAR OLD!? No wonder they have to charge so much. They have to pay for all those terrible pictures to be printed and thrown away when the patron decides they don't need those kind of memories.
Anyone who has ever been in the presence of a 2 year old knows, once you hand them something, you are not getting it back. I tried with all my might to get that picture away from her. To the point people were staring. I think they thought I was trying to abduct her. Mid tantrum, I threw my Visa at the guy and said "FINE! I'll take it!!" "Do you want a bag for that?" What, you think I am going to get it away from her to put in a bag?! Nice try, jackass. Next time, hand it to the parent. I've lost count of the violations I have endured....
But on your way out, you get to go through the gift shop. Now, I was planning to go in there and get her something anyways. An awful picture of me is no gift for a child. She spots a cute little stuffed penguin for $9.99. SOLD!
Now, let's get out of here. Uh uh. She picks up a stuffed penguin nearly identical to the first one, except it is $19.99. I still don't know why it was double the price. I have actually just discovered the second one is half an inch SHORTER than the first one. They appeared the same size, the second one had some yellow on it. Surely, not $10 worth of yellow dye. I am trying with all my might to talk her into the $10 penguin and all she wants it the $20 one.
Until she spots a (very realistic) pink penguin. Dear Lord, did I brace myself for the price tag on that one. $16.99. Ok, we'll call that even. Sorry folks, apparently, you can't buy this one online, so no pictures for you!!
As I am putting the other penguins back with their families, she spots the book "Curious George Goes to the Aquarium". George is this kid's version of crack. Fine, you can have the book. I can swing $4 at this point. I mean, who doesn't want their kid to read, right? As I am grabbing a book, I spot her sucking the straw of a cup.
First of all, EEEWWWW!!!!! Second of all, now I have to buy that?! I know what you are thinking, put it back, quick!! Too bad there were like 40 people watching her do it. Great. Now she has a $6 cup. I finally RUN out the door with her and we go have pizza before heading back to the train station.
Mostly uneventful. We stopped at my office and had lunch with the bosses. And one of them paid for the pizza!! WOOHOO!!! Finally, something was free! Besides, obviously, the joy of spending the day with my favorite girl in the world.
Just as we are getting ready to leave, she tries to put her cup on the back of the stroller. It falls to the ground and cracks. Oh, hell no. I have a short amount of time to get to the train and I am thinking,"This cup is going back. I don't care if we have to wait an hour for the next train. She can have another golden cookie." I sprint back to the Aquarium gift shop and exchange the cup, no questions asked. Didn't even want to see the receipt!
Ok, here we go, back to the train station. Yay! We made it!! I am thinking she'll nod off in her stroller and squeeze in the ever important nap. Nope. Could have been because it likely wasn't the most enjoyable stroller ride. I was power walking and there was a nice cold breeze coming in off the ocean. That'll wake you up every time. She stayed awake the entire trip home and all the way until bedtime.
However, when we got home, I collapsed on the couch and didn't move for about an hour. Not that she would let me sleep.
As a side, I learned an hour after leaving the Aquarium that you can reserve passes at the library?! Time to get a library card.
Also, I think I may be pregnant with the aquarium's baby.....
Now, she was on the subway about a year ago, but every day she and my husband drive to the subway station and pick me up from the train. Additionally, she sees the commuter rail train every day. So, needless to say, she is quite intrigued with trains at this stage.
I checked the schedule and decided we would get the 10:00. That was at 8:30. We almost missed the train. We got dressed, got our bag packed with some snacks and a change of clothes and headed off to the bank to get some money. I only use the drive-up ATM when I have her because it's just a pain to get her in and out of her car seat. There were about 10 cars in line, so I decided "Screw it, I don't have time for this." I then had to RACE to CVS to get her ANOTHER pair of sunglasses because we couldn't seem to find one of the four pairs she currently owns. And of course, she chose pair she already had. Maybe this way, Daddy won't notice?!
Of course, because I was in a rush, I ran into an old client who wanted to chat me up for a while and tell me all about the fish that was on sale at Shaw's. Terrific. It's Lent, and not only did I forget to give something up, I am pretty damn sure we have been total carnivores since Ash Wednesday. Ugh. "Ok, thanks! BYE!!!"
Yay! We made the train, and as soon as we started moving, I realized no binky. I know, I know. She's too old for it. I don't really care. If it stops her from the inevitable meltdown, I'm giving it to her. Oh well, no binky. Time for this toddler to man up.
Now to look for a seat on the moderately busy train. Do you think my little freak show wanted to sit near ANYONE? Nope. After showing her the only available seats, she gives in and shares a seat with a man whose ears she proceeded to beat off the side of his head until he ran for his own sanity. Enter first financial rape of the day.
Our little conductor lady comes to collect tickets and I ask for a round-trip fare. $8.50!!?? Um, sure, that sounds fair. The subway is less than half of that per day. Who are these people taking the commuter rail every day?! I am 5 stops from the end. FIVE. I don't understand how the T is in debt when they are charging people $1.70 per station stop.
When we finally get to the main concourse, the monster in the stroller sees all the different kiosks offering cookies. At 10:30 in the morning. Second rape? A cookie costing nearly $3.00. Get me outta here!!!
We go outside, where is is absolutely gorgeous out. First stop, iced coffee. Ain't no WAY this is going one step further without reinforcements. Now, I know the area, so I know where Dunkin Donuts is hiding. Obviously, the kiddo was concerned. After whipping her head from side to side, she asks in a meek voice, "Mommy? Where we goin'?" I looked around and realized the street we were on resembled a dark alley on CSI. My bad. On to the aquarium!!!!
We walk maybe a mile and arrive at the New England Aquarium. I notice my ticket is going to cost $22.95, and because my little angel is under 3, she's free! Yay! But, um, I don't even WANT to go in, so why the hell do I have to pay so much? Really, they should let adults in free and charge for the kids!! Can I send her in on her own? Guess not. Rape three! Man, I get around!
I get to the window and inquire about their membership passes. Lowest level is $85. "Is that a family pass or how does that work?" It's the member and one guest. Not only am I not sure I will make it back there the 4 times it'll take to pay for itself, if my husband decides to join us, do we still have to pay an adult fare? Or is he my guest and under 3 doesn't count. I don't care, I'm not getting it. I've already spent enough for a nice day with my daughter. Oh, silly me. No, I haven't!!!!!
The New England Aquarium is a lovely educational facility, but man, it is dark in there. It's like a cave full of fish. Regardless, we had a nice time walking up the ramp surrounding the giant tank and looking at all the different fish. I know they have a touch tank outside with manatees in it and I thought "She'll love that!!" Not this time, she won't. It's only open to members this week. Boo. Does this one count as a rape?!
Once we have made our rounds, we started to work our way back down to the bottom level. I spot the counter where they will nicely show me the awful picture they took on our way in. Instead of just showing me on the computer screen, they waste the money and ink to print it out, put it in the holder and HAND IT TO THE 2 YEAR OLD!? No wonder they have to charge so much. They have to pay for all those terrible pictures to be printed and thrown away when the patron decides they don't need those kind of memories.
Anyone who has ever been in the presence of a 2 year old knows, once you hand them something, you are not getting it back. I tried with all my might to get that picture away from her. To the point people were staring. I think they thought I was trying to abduct her. Mid tantrum, I threw my Visa at the guy and said "FINE! I'll take it!!" "Do you want a bag for that?" What, you think I am going to get it away from her to put in a bag?! Nice try, jackass. Next time, hand it to the parent. I've lost count of the violations I have endured....
But on your way out, you get to go through the gift shop. Now, I was planning to go in there and get her something anyways. An awful picture of me is no gift for a child. She spots a cute little stuffed penguin for $9.99. SOLD!
Now, let's get out of here. Uh uh. She picks up a stuffed penguin nearly identical to the first one, except it is $19.99. I still don't know why it was double the price. I have actually just discovered the second one is half an inch SHORTER than the first one. They appeared the same size, the second one had some yellow on it. Surely, not $10 worth of yellow dye. I am trying with all my might to talk her into the $10 penguin and all she wants it the $20 one.
Until she spots a (very realistic) pink penguin. Dear Lord, did I brace myself for the price tag on that one. $16.99. Ok, we'll call that even. Sorry folks, apparently, you can't buy this one online, so no pictures for you!!
As I am putting the other penguins back with their families, she spots the book "Curious George Goes to the Aquarium". George is this kid's version of crack. Fine, you can have the book. I can swing $4 at this point. I mean, who doesn't want their kid to read, right? As I am grabbing a book, I spot her sucking the straw of a cup.
First of all, EEEWWWW!!!!! Second of all, now I have to buy that?! I know what you are thinking, put it back, quick!! Too bad there were like 40 people watching her do it. Great. Now she has a $6 cup. I finally RUN out the door with her and we go have pizza before heading back to the train station.
Mostly uneventful. We stopped at my office and had lunch with the bosses. And one of them paid for the pizza!! WOOHOO!!! Finally, something was free! Besides, obviously, the joy of spending the day with my favorite girl in the world.
Just as we are getting ready to leave, she tries to put her cup on the back of the stroller. It falls to the ground and cracks. Oh, hell no. I have a short amount of time to get to the train and I am thinking,"This cup is going back. I don't care if we have to wait an hour for the next train. She can have another golden cookie." I sprint back to the Aquarium gift shop and exchange the cup, no questions asked. Didn't even want to see the receipt!
Ok, here we go, back to the train station. Yay! We made it!! I am thinking she'll nod off in her stroller and squeeze in the ever important nap. Nope. Could have been because it likely wasn't the most enjoyable stroller ride. I was power walking and there was a nice cold breeze coming in off the ocean. That'll wake you up every time. She stayed awake the entire trip home and all the way until bedtime.
However, when we got home, I collapsed on the couch and didn't move for about an hour. Not that she would let me sleep.
As a side, I learned an hour after leaving the Aquarium that you can reserve passes at the library?! Time to get a library card.
Also, I think I may be pregnant with the aquarium's baby.....
Saturday, April 2, 2011
A Plethora of Nothingness
Sorry to leave you lying in wait like a serial killer. I'm a day late on this, and it's only week 3! How will I keep up?
I was looking for suggestions for a topic and this is what I got:
I was looking for suggestions for a topic and this is what I got:
Blog about your love for me :)
Blog about being great
Blog about trying to cook something
Blog about the shake weight
Blog about something positive
...Blog about people you saw on the T and their tremendous style choices.
Blog about being great
Blog about trying to cook something
Blog about the shake weight
Blog about something positive
...Blog about people you saw on the T and their tremendous style choices.
From ONE person. Well, you asked for it!!
Her name is Nicole and she is my favorite whore in the world. No really. I'm not just saying that. Of all the whores I know, she really is my favorite!! I love that we can pick up where we left off each time we see each other, even though she lives a gazillion miles away. (I don't love that part. Sorry.) I also love her completely and totally, vividly inappropriate sense of humor. Forget "That's what she said" Nicole takes it to a whole new level. She makes others blush while keeping a completely innocent look on her face. I love that. She's not just a whore, she's a dirty whore. And she's all mine. <3
Next up, being great. Wow. How do you tell others how to be as great as I am? I mean, c'mon now! First and foremost, I'm an outstanding mother and wife. Let anyone try to compare. It ain't happenin' lemme tell ya! I mean, my daughter and husband are among the luckiest people on Earth! But don't worry mom, you're a close second. I mean, one can't create this level of greatness without being pretty damn great themselves.
I'm also a great cook. Not even gonna TRY lying about that one. I am my own worst critic, but I never get complaints from others. They just gobble it up and rub their bellies. No, not in pain. In complete and utter ecstasy. It's that good, folks. Jeez, I could go on about my greatness forever!! But I'm sure you'd like to hear about me trying to cook something. Hey. That was a pretty good segue. And because I am so great, I didn't even do it on purpose.
TRYING to cook is a funny term. Because I am so great, I don't try. I just do it and I do it well. Does a woman make cheddar ale soup if she can't cook? I didn't think so. Oh wait!! This is my try! I'm making it today! I've never made it before, but I am sure it will be outstanding. Stuck for a dinner? Having company and you just can't cook?? Get a whole chicken. Get a crock pot. Put 3-4 balls of foil at the bottom of the crock pot and place the chicken on top. Sprinkle with your choice of seasoning. I personally use salt, pepper, adobo and paprika. Good stuff, I tell ya. Cook on low for about 8 hours, high for about 6. May take a bit longer if you get a fatty. (Insert dirty whore joke here) Not only do you get a roast chicken literally falling off the bone (Insert additional joke), you get tons of liquid for making gravy. But those of you who suck probably don't know how to make gravy. Better just pick up a couple jars while you're getting the chicken.....
All that heavy lifting may have you thinking "Damn, I am out of shape. But just don't have time to work out!" Well, FEAR NOT!! The Shake Weight is here!!!! You can now exercise on the go. Or, if you really wanna freak out your neighbors, close the curtains, turn on some lights and have at it! This reminds me of the night we looked up at our neighbor's house and he was standing in front of the slightly ajar curtains, bent over the desk, taking it up, no? Too much? Ok, I'll move on. The Shake Weight is obscene to say the least. No matter how you try to use it, you look like a star in one of Nicole's jokes.
Something positive about all of this is it's kinda making me giggle. Hahaha!! Seriously. No, not serious at all. I'm still laughing! Ok, ok. Phew! Something positive. Hm. There is so much positive as I am sitting here. The April Fools Day snow is melting. It is a beautiful, sunny day and the birds are out in force. My cat is having an insane love affair with me today. My husband let me sleep in until he left for work. My daughter is in a great mood. She just keeps running in and hugging me. I adore her. It's sickening. Now she wants to get dressed. Little Miss Independent goes into her room and manages to choose an outfit that matches perfectly. Clearly, she's a girl who will drive to work in the future. People with good style don't take the T.
I know this because I take it every day! Oh, uh, hm. Well, nonetheless..... We in business attire don't count. I swear. I'm talking about the people either not going to work or trying their hardest to lose their job. Honest to God, it's atrocious. I often take pictures and post them to my Facebook, just to entertain people. I usually try to leave the person's face out, but sometimes it just can't be helped. Like a couple of weeks ago. I took a picture of a woman who had the MOST ridiculous 80's hairstyle. I don't even think the 80's would have liked it. To top it all off, she was so out of proportion, people actually thought she was a little person!!
When I was in college, I wanted to start a campaign called "Mirrors for the Needy". I proposed a collection for full length mirrors, which would be place on the inside of the doors at the dorm buildings and the outside of the doors leading into the classroom buildings. This way, people leaving their dorms would be SURE to see what they were wearing before thrusting their hideous style upon the rest of us. (Insert joke) Additionally, those who commuted would see themselves before they entered the classroom buildings. And of course, as an extra added bonus, the resident students would get to see themselves again before entering the classroom. It was needed, I tell you. I am all for going to class in sweats and t-shirts. But when you make a conscious decision to put various items of clothing and "fashion" accessories together, you best be sure they work. Like cowboy boots with satin polka dot pants. It's as bad as it sounds!
Or maybe the ever fashionable leggings? I mean, how can you go wrong? Oh, that's how.....
But perhaps my favorite to date is this little gem:
The person who decided these shoes were fashionable should be shot. Starting at their feet. I would like them to be tortured as much as their designs have tortured civilization. I won't even get into the cottage cheese ass that was hanging out. Luckily, I don't have a spectacular camera on my phone. I shiver at the memory.
I now propose "Mirrors for the T". Maybe I will carry a mirror with me and ambush people like they do one T.V. I mean, I can't afford to be doing make overs on these people, but they should still be armed with the knowledge that they look awful. Knowledge is power, as they say. If it's on T.V. it must be ok, right? I'm going to go pry the mirror off the back of my bathroom door. You better start driving to work. You're my first target.
But perhaps my favorite to date is this little gem:
The person who decided these shoes were fashionable should be shot. Starting at their feet. I would like them to be tortured as much as their designs have tortured civilization. I won't even get into the cottage cheese ass that was hanging out. Luckily, I don't have a spectacular camera on my phone. I shiver at the memory.
I now propose "Mirrors for the T". Maybe I will carry a mirror with me and ambush people like they do one T.V. I mean, I can't afford to be doing make overs on these people, but they should still be armed with the knowledge that they look awful. Knowledge is power, as they say. If it's on T.V. it must be ok, right? I'm going to go pry the mirror off the back of my bathroom door. You better start driving to work. You're my first target.
Friday, March 25, 2011
The Things I Love... Part 1 (not that I plan on keeping count)
Before you all get offended, I said THINGS, not people. I love EVERYONE! (hah!)
At the request of one "Jessica Rabbit", I will not go on a rant, but rather I will give you my opinion about some of my favorite items.
The first one I acquired maybe a year ago and I have no idea how. Suddenly, I receive a giant box in the mail with my name on it. Not one to be afraid of anthrax, I tore into it. To my surprise and delight, I had an entire set of Debbie Meyer Green Boxes and Bags. Now, an entire set. One might thing, "Eh, just a few". Nope. I got about 50 bags and about 10 Tupperware-like containers. FREE!!!!! From one of the home shopping channels. My complete and utter lack of cabinet space did not come into play until later.....
Now, I HAVE ordered from them in the past. The likelihood of them gifting one of their favorite customers was out of the question. My playing one of their foolish online games? Sounds more like it. Damn if I remember winning anything though. As one can imagine, my husband was absolutely TICKLED with the idea of me bringing more crap into the house. I was sure to point out repeatedly: : "But I didn't spend any money!!!" *insert big dopey grin* (this can be seen to the right------>)
These things are amazing and freakish all at the same time. I am a serious skeptic of things like this and figured I'd just have more containers for leftovers. No way. I put some strawberries in one and let me just say, no produce should EVER last this long. It is just downright bizarre. However, they are an amazing money saver! (especially when they are FREE!)
Anyone knows you can buy a pallet of strawberries at BJ's or Costco, right? Anyone who has done this likely has 42 kids to eat them, or ended up throwing some away. WEEKS. That is how long my first batch of strawberries lasted. I'm not kidding. Almost 3 weeks before they STARTED looking like they were going the way of the bin. In my head, they should have been rotten long ago, so sure enough, any time I was giving one to my daughter, I was eating one first to make sure they were ok. Perfect!
The bags were equally amazing. Throw a few tomatoes in them and they last WAY longer. Grapes?? No problem! I'm telling you, I don't know how much they retail for (did I mention they were FREE!?) but they are worth the purchase. (Especially when they are free!)
I just went to her site and saw the "Kak-Kut'r" or whatever the heck it's called. Forgot I got 2 of those, too. FOR FREE! :) They're fun! And the product picture reminded me I have corn on the cob last for weeks also. Works out wonderfully when the supermarkets have it on sale: 12 for $3 Too bad you have to buy 12? Not anymore!
After seeing the prices, WOW did I get a bargain! *winkwinknudgenudge* (I think you see where I was going)
I really intended on writing about a few things, but MAN....now all I can think about is that amazing Debbie Meyer. I bet she's hot.
At the request of one "Jessica Rabbit", I will not go on a rant, but rather I will give you my opinion about some of my favorite items.
The first one I acquired maybe a year ago and I have no idea how. Suddenly, I receive a giant box in the mail with my name on it. Not one to be afraid of anthrax, I tore into it. To my surprise and delight, I had an entire set of Debbie Meyer Green Boxes and Bags. Now, an entire set. One might thing, "Eh, just a few". Nope. I got about 50 bags and about 10 Tupperware-like containers. FREE!!!!! From one of the home shopping channels. My complete and utter lack of cabinet space did not come into play until later.....
Now, I HAVE ordered from them in the past. The likelihood of them gifting one of their favorite customers was out of the question. My playing one of their foolish online games? Sounds more like it. Damn if I remember winning anything though. As one can imagine, my husband was absolutely TICKLED with the idea of me bringing more crap into the house. I was sure to point out repeatedly: : "But I didn't spend any money!!!" *insert big dopey grin* (this can be seen to the right------>)
These things are amazing and freakish all at the same time. I am a serious skeptic of things like this and figured I'd just have more containers for leftovers. No way. I put some strawberries in one and let me just say, no produce should EVER last this long. It is just downright bizarre. However, they are an amazing money saver! (especially when they are FREE!)
Anyone knows you can buy a pallet of strawberries at BJ's or Costco, right? Anyone who has done this likely has 42 kids to eat them, or ended up throwing some away. WEEKS. That is how long my first batch of strawberries lasted. I'm not kidding. Almost 3 weeks before they STARTED looking like they were going the way of the bin. In my head, they should have been rotten long ago, so sure enough, any time I was giving one to my daughter, I was eating one first to make sure they were ok. Perfect!
The bags were equally amazing. Throw a few tomatoes in them and they last WAY longer. Grapes?? No problem! I'm telling you, I don't know how much they retail for (did I mention they were FREE!?) but they are worth the purchase. (Especially when they are free!)
I just went to her site and saw the "Kak-Kut'r" or whatever the heck it's called. Forgot I got 2 of those, too. FOR FREE! :) They're fun! And the product picture reminded me I have corn on the cob last for weeks also. Works out wonderfully when the supermarkets have it on sale: 12 for $3 Too bad you have to buy 12? Not anymore!
After seeing the prices, WOW did I get a bargain! *winkwinknudgenudge* (I think you see where I was going)
I really intended on writing about a few things, but MAN....now all I can think about is that amazing Debbie Meyer. I bet she's hot.
Friday, March 18, 2011
"Fine Dining" my foot.....
So, I have considered starting a blog for about two years now. Last night's dinner pushed me over the edge. I, sadly, spend a lot of money in a week. Usually, it is on household items, but occasionally, we have the joy of going out to eat.
I am NOT one to spend $100 a person going out to eat. I am just as happy at a neighborhood place with decent food. DECENT. I'm not even asking for really good...
Last night, my husband, daughter and I went for dinner at West on Centre in West Roxbury, MA. Every time I go there, I remember why I'm in no rush to go back. Their prices are moderate, so should their food be. No such luck.
As a St. Patrick's Day special, they had Guinness Beef Stew. As the bowl was place in front of me, I glanced from the bowl to my husband. His only response was "I don't know was stew is in America, but it looks like soup to me." (I should mention here he is from Ireland. And their soup is amazing....)
Not only were we never given a bread basket to start, the "stew" came with nothing. Being the trooper I am, I grabbed my spoon and dove into.....Dinty Moore. Only soupier. From the flavor to the texture of the meat, Dinty freaking Moore. Now, rather than paying $1.19 a can, I was paying $12. I don't think so. Not after the rubbery calamari appetizer.
My husband, being an even bigger trooper, ate his flank steak with a grimace. As I waited for my stew to be replaced with their ever reliable Butternut Squash Ravioli, I looked at my daughter's grilled cheese and fries thinking, "I wish they had THAT on the adult menu". Thank God for St. Patrick's Day beer!
After some slightly too salty raviolis, I decided, "Hey, you can't go wrong with dessert!! Let me have at it!" Creme Caramel? I asked if it was Creme Brulee and was told "it's the custard, just not crispy on top. Kinda like Creme Brulee upside down." Ok, I'll have that. Completely DRENCHED in something. Certainly not caramel. Much too watery. Kind of had a coffee flavor. Wouldn't have been SO bad if the "custard" wasn't drowning in it. And if the bottom of said custard didn't have a healthy pudding skin. I'm gagging just thinking about it.
At least the whipped cream was good. And the beer......
I am NOT one to spend $100 a person going out to eat. I am just as happy at a neighborhood place with decent food. DECENT. I'm not even asking for really good...
Last night, my husband, daughter and I went for dinner at West on Centre in West Roxbury, MA. Every time I go there, I remember why I'm in no rush to go back. Their prices are moderate, so should their food be. No such luck.
As a St. Patrick's Day special, they had Guinness Beef Stew. As the bowl was place in front of me, I glanced from the bowl to my husband. His only response was "I don't know was stew is in America, but it looks like soup to me." (I should mention here he is from Ireland. And their soup is amazing....)
Not only were we never given a bread basket to start, the "stew" came with nothing. Being the trooper I am, I grabbed my spoon and dove into.....Dinty Moore. Only soupier. From the flavor to the texture of the meat, Dinty freaking Moore. Now, rather than paying $1.19 a can, I was paying $12. I don't think so. Not after the rubbery calamari appetizer.
My husband, being an even bigger trooper, ate his flank steak with a grimace. As I waited for my stew to be replaced with their ever reliable Butternut Squash Ravioli, I looked at my daughter's grilled cheese and fries thinking, "I wish they had THAT on the adult menu". Thank God for St. Patrick's Day beer!
After some slightly too salty raviolis, I decided, "Hey, you can't go wrong with dessert!! Let me have at it!" Creme Caramel? I asked if it was Creme Brulee and was told "it's the custard, just not crispy on top. Kinda like Creme Brulee upside down." Ok, I'll have that. Completely DRENCHED in something. Certainly not caramel. Much too watery. Kind of had a coffee flavor. Wouldn't have been SO bad if the "custard" wasn't drowning in it. And if the bottom of said custard didn't have a healthy pudding skin. I'm gagging just thinking about it.
At least the whipped cream was good. And the beer......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)