Now, she was on the subway about a year ago, but every day she and my husband drive to the subway station and pick me up from the train. Additionally, she sees the commuter rail train every day. So, needless to say, she is quite intrigued with trains at this stage.
I checked the schedule and decided we would get the 10:00. That was at 8:30. We almost missed the train. We got dressed, got our bag packed with some snacks and a change of clothes and headed off to the bank to get some money. I only use the drive-up ATM when I have her because it's just a pain to get her in and out of her car seat. There were about 10 cars in line, so I decided "Screw it, I don't have time for this." I then had to RACE to CVS to get her ANOTHER pair of sunglasses because we couldn't seem to find one of the four pairs she currently owns. And of course, she chose pair she already had. Maybe this way, Daddy won't notice?!
Of course, because I was in a rush, I ran into an old client who wanted to chat me up for a while and tell me all about the fish that was on sale at Shaw's. Terrific. It's Lent, and not only did I forget to give something up, I am pretty damn sure we have been total carnivores since Ash Wednesday. Ugh. "Ok, thanks! BYE!!!"
Yay! We made the train, and as soon as we started moving, I realized no binky. I know, I know. She's too old for it. I don't really care. If it stops her from the inevitable meltdown, I'm giving it to her. Oh well, no binky. Time for this toddler to man up.
Now to look for a seat on the moderately busy train. Do you think my little freak show wanted to sit near ANYONE? Nope. After showing her the only available seats, she gives in and shares a seat with a man whose ears she proceeded to beat off the side of his head until he ran for his own sanity. Enter first financial rape of the day.
Our little conductor lady comes to collect tickets and I ask for a round-trip fare. $8.50!!?? Um, sure, that sounds fair. The subway is less than half of that per day. Who are these people taking the commuter rail every day?! I am 5 stops from the end. FIVE. I don't understand how the T is in debt when they are charging people $1.70 per station stop.
When we finally get to the main concourse, the monster in the stroller sees all the different kiosks offering cookies. At 10:30 in the morning. Second rape? A cookie costing nearly $3.00. Get me outta here!!!
We go outside, where is is absolutely gorgeous out. First stop, iced coffee. Ain't no WAY this is going one step further without reinforcements. Now, I know the area, so I know where Dunkin Donuts is hiding. Obviously, the kiddo was concerned. After whipping her head from side to side, she asks in a meek voice, "Mommy? Where we goin'?" I looked around and realized the street we were on resembled a dark alley on CSI. My bad. On to the aquarium!!!!
We walk maybe a mile and arrive at the New England Aquarium. I notice my ticket is going to cost $22.95, and because my little angel is under 3, she's free! Yay! But, um, I don't even WANT to go in, so why the hell do I have to pay so much? Really, they should let adults in free and charge for the kids!! Can I send her in on her own? Guess not. Rape three! Man, I get around!
I get to the window and inquire about their membership passes. Lowest level is $85. "Is that a family pass or how does that work?" It's the member and one guest. Not only am I not sure I will make it back there the 4 times it'll take to pay for itself, if my husband decides to join us, do we still have to pay an adult fare? Or is he my guest and under 3 doesn't count. I don't care, I'm not getting it. I've already spent enough for a nice day with my daughter. Oh, silly me. No, I haven't!!!!!
The New England Aquarium is a lovely educational facility, but man, it is dark in there. It's like a cave full of fish. Regardless, we had a nice time walking up the ramp surrounding the giant tank and looking at all the different fish. I know they have a touch tank outside with manatees in it and I thought "She'll love that!!" Not this time, she won't. It's only open to members this week. Boo. Does this one count as a rape?!
Once we have made our rounds, we started to work our way back down to the bottom level. I spot the counter where they will nicely show me the awful picture they took on our way in. Instead of just showing me on the computer screen, they waste the money and ink to print it out, put it in the holder and HAND IT TO THE 2 YEAR OLD!? No wonder they have to charge so much. They have to pay for all those terrible pictures to be printed and thrown away when the patron decides they don't need those kind of memories.
Anyone who has ever been in the presence of a 2 year old knows, once you hand them something, you are not getting it back. I tried with all my might to get that picture away from her. To the point people were staring. I think they thought I was trying to abduct her. Mid tantrum, I threw my Visa at the guy and said "FINE! I'll take it!!" "Do you want a bag for that?" What, you think I am going to get it away from her to put in a bag?! Nice try, jackass. Next time, hand it to the parent. I've lost count of the violations I have endured....
But on your way out, you get to go through the gift shop. Now, I was planning to go in there and get her something anyways. An awful picture of me is no gift for a child. She spots a cute little stuffed penguin for $9.99. SOLD!
Now, let's get out of here. Uh uh. She picks up a stuffed penguin nearly identical to the first one, except it is $19.99. I still don't know why it was double the price. I have actually just discovered the second one is half an inch SHORTER than the first one. They appeared the same size, the second one had some yellow on it. Surely, not $10 worth of yellow dye. I am trying with all my might to talk her into the $10 penguin and all she wants it the $20 one.
Until she spots a (very realistic) pink penguin. Dear Lord, did I brace myself for the price tag on that one. $16.99. Ok, we'll call that even. Sorry folks, apparently, you can't buy this one online, so no pictures for you!!
As I am putting the other penguins back with their families, she spots the book "Curious George Goes to the Aquarium". George is this kid's version of crack. Fine, you can have the book. I can swing $4 at this point. I mean, who doesn't want their kid to read, right? As I am grabbing a book, I spot her sucking the straw of a cup.
First of all, EEEWWWW!!!!! Second of all, now I have to buy that?! I know what you are thinking, put it back, quick!! Too bad there were like 40 people watching her do it. Great. Now she has a $6 cup. I finally RUN out the door with her and we go have pizza before heading back to the train station.
Mostly uneventful. We stopped at my office and had lunch with the bosses. And one of them paid for the pizza!! WOOHOO!!! Finally, something was free! Besides, obviously, the joy of spending the day with my favorite girl in the world.
Just as we are getting ready to leave, she tries to put her cup on the back of the stroller. It falls to the ground and cracks. Oh, hell no. I have a short amount of time to get to the train and I am thinking,"This cup is going back. I don't care if we have to wait an hour for the next train. She can have another golden cookie." I sprint back to the Aquarium gift shop and exchange the cup, no questions asked. Didn't even want to see the receipt!
Ok, here we go, back to the train station. Yay! We made it!! I am thinking she'll nod off in her stroller and squeeze in the ever important nap. Nope. Could have been because it likely wasn't the most enjoyable stroller ride. I was power walking and there was a nice cold breeze coming in off the ocean. That'll wake you up every time. She stayed awake the entire trip home and all the way until bedtime.
However, when we got home, I collapsed on the couch and didn't move for about an hour. Not that she would let me sleep.
As a side, I learned an hour after leaving the Aquarium that you can reserve passes at the library?! Time to get a library card.
Also, I think I may be pregnant with the aquarium's baby.....
Your blog makes me love you more!
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